Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
