Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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