she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You're a waste of cheezeits
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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