We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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