they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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