so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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