Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
