gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
