toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize