i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
