I heard we made out
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
