Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
