Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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