so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
