he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I deserve this hangover.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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