i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
