how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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