im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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