you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
