I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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