found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party gras won. party gras always wins.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize