I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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