yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
