hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just found puke in my bra..
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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