your thong is hanging out like whoa
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
