Whats the glycemic index on semen?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
