im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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