If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize