I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
you are never too drunk for berry picking
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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