I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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