At least make sure they are 18
Why
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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