Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
