o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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