Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
