What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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