May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
