he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
did i just pee glitter
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
