:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
