TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
