at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I wish i was in the wii world.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
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It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
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Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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