Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
