I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
