The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
