did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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