coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
