Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize