I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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