I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
