if you like me you must not know who I am
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
