Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize