I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
