You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
