...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
