Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize