I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
