So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
