He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
