it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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