So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
