Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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