I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
