Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
