Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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