dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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