I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
