from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
