i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
